After much thought, I find myself at yet another obstacle. Through research, experience, and endless conversations, I now find that I can flirt and find an attractive connection between myself and another girl. It's not entirely easy to find another pretty girl and talk to her, but once I do, I find a great friend and perhaps, significant other. But moving from that step of introduction and friendship onto a level of romantic relationship is the next obstacle for me.
I've met an amazing girl from my art class. We can talk for hours and never exhaust ourselves of interest in some topic. We've talked about psychology, math, art, hiking, food, relationships, behaviors, philosophy, and just about anything else; but at the same time, there's so much more for us to talk about and learn from each other. I've known this girl for maybe a month now, but my only encounters and conversations stem from our excursions after art class every Tuesday and Thursday. I've found her attractive since the first day of art class, and that attraction and connection has only grown since then.
So what's the next step? How do I go from this awesome friendship, and present myself as someone who's interested in a relationship? Like I mentioned, there's much to learn, and much I don't know about her, like, if she has another guy in her life already. And I certainly do not want to approach her with a request for a date, only to be turned down because of currently existing conditions and create an awkward connection between the two of us. I see her every Tuesday and Thursday in a two hour art class, and unless she has already made plans, we go out to eat afterwards, usually talking for two or three hours. Friday we went hiking, and it was certainly a great experience for me for multiple reasons-- I got out into nature, exploring what lies around this busy college town other than restaurants and businesses; I got to go on an adventure with a really great girl, who brings aspects of life to me that, on my own, I probably would never find; and it was practically a date, but only in the sense of two friends hanging out and having a good time, leading to the conclusions that friends can go out and enjoy themselves just as much as a couple, and that even a relationship should enjoy the same excursions, because it's not all about the physical part of a relationship.
After much more thought, I see patterns from previous relationships, particularly the planning of certain events that never fall through. For example: This girl and I have conversed about many things, including hiking to other parks, trying new foods, taking psychology classes, and even getting high together, since I have never been high before. And it made me think back to other relationships, where my significant other said similar things, like we should go do this, or try that, or go see this, etc. Sure enough, those relationships are over, having lasted anywhere from three to eight months, and most of said events never occurred. The physical got in the way, boredom got in the way, and for the most part, we become content with merely being with each other in our houses or a local restaurant.
This might just apply to everyone, but when I first meet someone, especially someone who I might end up dating, I get really excited about all the things I've yet to experience with them. In this case, all the activities this girl and I have talked about. After a few months of dating, however, that excitement tends to die down, and the activities are less likely to happen. I resort back to my natural self of being lazy and introverted, and content, but not happy, with merely being in one place. Perhaps the saying, "Once you catch the train, you stop running" really does reveal a truth in my life, if not the life of everyone.
This past Friday, she and I went hiking and had an amazing evening. An amazing day, for that matter, because I skipped my math class to go to her psychology class, ate lunch, dinner, hiked, made a natural piece of art (Ragtooth the Ice Jelly), drove around, went to Expressions, had an adventure and "cookie showdown" at Harris Teeter, with her.
I almost feel silly for feeling so much for a person I hardly know, but, at the same time, I feel and know enough about her that I can attest for these feelings.
Perhaps, in an attempt to complete this emptiness within myself, I seek to find another who can complete me.
