Impressions

No matter how much I think I grow and change, I am still shy around people I don't know. Whether they are complete strangers, or neighbors I never got the chance to meet, sometimes I just can't muster up the courage to go meet someone and socialize. Truth is, I don't really know how to socialize with people I don't know. When I'm around my friends, I can be myself. I can be goofy, silly, and relax. They don't care if I say anything or not. Around them, I'm comfortable. Maybe it's a matter of meeting and socializing on my own terms. I typically meet new people after working in a similar environment - for example, going to a class everyday at school gives me the opportunity to meet someone who has something in common with me.

I bring this topic up for one reason - I'm currently at my grandparent's house for the weekend, and the neighbors are over with friends and family. Not a big crowd, but the fact stands that I don't really know these people, nor do I particularly want to go swim in a pool with 5 other little kids splashing and jumping in. I prefer to get in a pool to exercise and swim some laps. The biggest thing that baffles me though, is that I can't bring myself to meet the neighbors daughter, Jenna, who's probably 16 or so. Just another teenager that could be a good summer friend.

And just yesterday, I went out to a small party at my friend Leah's house, knowing only her and Shelby. I had enough courage to go there, surrounded by only two friends and 6 people I had never met before. But I had fun. I met some new people. They're definitely not the kind of people I would hang out with, but I had fun regardless.

I guess that's it. The small thing I have in common with a stranger let's me open up. Let's me socialize. At the party, it was having two friends already there.

But here, it's just me. No friends, no common traits to my knowledge. So I revert back to the shy person I am. I stay inside. And I wait until they leave. Then I can only wish that I had met them.

Curse my personality. Curse my shyness.