What if you're the girl of my dreams?

This summer has been pretty fail on my part. I've been lazy since the day I got home. I didn't apply for any jobs, I didn't work on any artwork, I did no research or scholarship searches, I really didn't even hang out with my old friends or family. I just sat around, playing video games, sleeping, and wasting my days away.

It was getting to me. Bringing me down. Depression set in. There's plenty I could have done, people I could see and hang out with. But I remained apathetic. I saw my friends around me, enjoying their summer, and some of them had their wake up call to reality. I kept telling myself, things will be better once I get my wake up call. So I waited.

About a month ago, I started applying for jobs, because I knew I had to make some money to live in my house for college this fall. And then, these bills and charges came out of nowhere, and I really started panicking. I knew that I HAD to get a job, regardless of where it was or what I had to do. In the end, I think I had applied to 15 different places. I waited weeks, and I had almost given up. I was either going to go back in to my state of laziness, wasting my days away, or, I was going to start applying to restaurants, the last place I wanted to work.

Needless to say, life was going downhill. It's miserable here in this small town.

Then one morning, I woke up. I told myself that waiting was not the answer to this problem. I was going to start being active and get something done. Later that day, I was at my grandparent's house, ready to swim in their pool. I looked up at the vast, blue sky, and around me at such a beautiful scene of nature. Then I looked into the water. That pool has always been a means of relaxation for me. I could sit there for hours, lost in thoughts staring at the water. At that moment however, I told myself, once I dive into this water, I will change my life. I will become a better person, and do something with my life. The water, in a way, was a cleansing of my body and mind.

A few days later, Walmart called me, ready to interview me for a job, which I now have after I take a drug test and present identification. Then I figured out the bills for my house, and my financial aid. And today, I saw my Aunt Rosie and Uncle James, almost a year since I saw them last. It was good to see them again and talk to them, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

I don't have much faith in religion, in fact, I don't have much faith. But, after I made that pact and dived in the water, things have been better in my life. We'll see how things play out, but I'm happier too.

And while I still have unanswered questions, I know that I'll be stronger, and ready to hear them when they come.